Do you think it’s rude to force someone to dress up for your party?


Okay, so first I will admit I am cranky, so that may be coloring my viewpoint… but, still.

I have a friend acquaintance in one group of people I know who is turning 40 this year. (I am not trying to be rude… I just don’t really consider her a “friend”… I like her, she’s a nice (if albeit very tightly wound) individual, but it’s not like we ever do anything together outside of this particular group.

She is having a birthday party this weekend.  She is going all out – renting a event center, hiring a band and a bartender… I mean, making it a huge deal. Which is fine… I mean, not my style; I’m more of a garden-party-in-my-backyard kind of gal – but that’s fine.  She has made it a “themed” party, which again, not my style but fine. Whatever floats her boat. (That’s really more of my teenaged daughter’s kind of party, lol!) But what bothers me about the whole deal is that she’s making a really big deal about all of her guests dressing up in the theme.  I mean, to the extent of trying to guilt me into dressing up! I asked her “are we uninvited if we don’t dress in costume?” and she was like “Yes! You have to dress up! You do NOT want to come to my party not in costume!” I persisted “seriously, I don’t  have anything like that to wear” to which she replied “go to the thrift shop! You can find stuff cheap!” Okay. I understand I could get stuff at the thrift store. However, if I have to buy something for myself, my husband and my daughter, even if I can find $5.00 items, if it’s a top and skirt or pants each, that’s $30.00… $30.00 for stuff I will never, ever wear again. When I am barely scraping by financially.  Which makes me feel like I am being charged a fee to attend someone’s birthday party. 

My daughter usually has themed birthday parties. She always dresses up, and we decorate in the theme. We always, always make it very clear in the invitations that dressing up is optional, and that she has extra items if anyone wants to borrow something. I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable if they don’t enjoy dressing up, nor would I want them to feel pressured to spend money they may not have to attend a party. I guess not everyone feels as I do.

What do you think?

7 responses »

  1. I will not vote either way. If she insists on your dressing up for the theme AFTER you explain your financial situation, then don’t go. What is the theme? It may be an easy fix with just on item.

  2. G – she is fully aware of our financial situation because of the discussions we have had in ‘said group’. I think that’s one reason it upset me the way it did. Kiki and I did go to the thrift store today (K and some other teens are putting on a skit for her party, so she HAS to dress up) I couldn’t find a shirt for myself under $8.00 – sorry, but that’s more than 2 mochas!

  3. Oh… besides… the two things I picked up for Kiki will totally fit the bill, but if worn separately and with different pieces can be worn as regular clothes… so I didn’t feel like I was tossing money away. Does that make sense?

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