I think there is too much news-watching and political-talk-show watching going on around my house. Seriously. Because it seems like everyone around here is talking about how this is the end of life as we know it and related horrid stuff. Which I really don’t want to hear. Or think about. You know, I have really been hoping our business is going to take off and we will eventually make more money, get to have our own home, finally take our kid to Disneyland (for the first time in her 14 years…) You know, that we can go back to living the American Dream. So, what if that’s never going to happen? What if the crazies down on Wall Street succeed in turning our country into some socialist/communist country? (Even tho every one of those people I have heard interviewed doesn’t even seem to know what they’re doing down there… just a bunch of unhappy morons.) Or we have to live as Muslims? Or China takes us over in some military coup or something?
I don’t try to worry about this crap. I try to think “happy thoughts“ of how my life is going to turn around one day, and I will quit being miserable (Yeah, I know, it’s a state of mind. I moved out of that state.) or, at least, I will live in my own home with my own stuff and be slightly happier. But what if the paranoids are correct? What if our country has only got 15 or so more years before we go down the drain, as other countries have? What does that mean to my child? That she’ll never have a good life?
I don’t know why this is upsetting me so much, except maybe because I am so unhappy about my life situation right now, and the one thing that makes me feel a little better is sweet, sweet sugary food, and yet I am trying so hard to give that stuff up so I won’t be all fat and unhealthy. So that , when life turns around and gets better I will look better! But what if that’s never gonna happen? Should I just keep eating, and therefore feeling happy in those brief, sugar-filled moments?
Sigh. Some pundit is on TV as I write, and I just don’t want to hear it. I think I will leave the house. And maybe go buy a donut.