Help! I need a couple years therapy, and I need to be done tomorrow.

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Sibling rivalry.  Why is it still happening when you are supposed “grown-ups”?  My sister is making me crazy.  Well, crazi-er

If you’ve read my blog for awhile, you know I have a weight problem.  Yeah.  I try not to make my blog about that, but it comes up.  I mean, unfortunately, it’s a big part of my life.  A “big” part… get it?  Hahaha… okay, it’s late.  Gimme a break.

I have a sister who is a couple years older than me.  (I had another sister, a younger one… she passed away a few years back.  I miss her soooo bad.)  So this is probably wrong, but one thing I miss about her is that she was there to complain to about my other sister.  If that makes sense. Well, my “big” sister is driving me nuts.  Part of the problem is that we live in the same town and go to the same church, so we have sort of the same circle of friends. This is not a good thing.  I really, really need a new group.

Anyway, a few months back, a couple friends of mine (of ours) started a sort of “weight loss Bible study”.   Most of us in this group have a weight problem… except my sister.  Who is skinny.  Seriously – I think she wears a size 2.  She’s sick.  Or makes me sick… Anyway… I really don’t know why she is in this study, except that she probably doesn’t want me to be getting closer to these friends than she is.  I wish I was making this up!  I mean, I don’t think she consciously thinks of this stuff, but she simply has to be involved in everything.  It’s ridiculous. Every week it gets worse… that is, I get crankier and crankier with the stuff she says and just the fact of her being there… in my weight loss group.  In her size 2 pants.  And being cranky is what a Bible study is all about, right?  So then I have to feel guilty about my attitude…

This week she decided to show us how to make her kind of food… she is on this “all raw” “vegan” diet… yeah.  Whatever.  Poor thing just has such a food problem, yeah?!

I just want to figure out how to get through a day without eating a dozen cookies or a pint of Ben and Jerrys.

She does NOT get it.  And I can’t figure out how to explain it to her.

13 responses »

    • Well, I have tried at times to explain to her how she doesn’t really understand how it feels to be… well, obese, like I am… but she truly thinks she does, since she was a whopping 20 lbs. overweight once. I don’t know how to tell her. She’s actually quite kind, and I’m sure she’d feel really bad about it… if she’d ever “get” it. I just don’t want to hurt her feelings (even tho she hurts mine. it’s complicated)

    • I like the letter idea, tho… I am going to think on that one. Because I could write it, then have my husband proof-read it to make sure it sounded “nice”…. not all snotty like I feel sometimes… hmmm….

      • I think it would be worth a try. This is clearly something that is bothering you a lot, and if you’re worried that talking to your sister face-to-face about it is going to get you riled up, then writing a letter will allow you to just tell her your feelings calmly and fairly. Good luck!

  1. That’s a tough one, Mama. Do the other women in your group feel the same way? If they don’t, it’s your problem alone. If they do, it is the group’s problem. Is there a group leader to speak with? Let me know how it works out. hugs gail

    • Like I said to ‘sophabroad’, it’s complicated. She is as close friends to the other gals in the group as I am, and so I’m not sure how to approach the problem. I feel like they are on the same page as me in this, just from certain things that have been said, here and there, but all are really nice gals who would never in a million years say something to my sister that might hurt her feelings. I really would like to know if it bugs them like it bugs me but not sure how to ask them. Plus, there is truth to what you say about it maybe just being my own problem… I am very sure that to some extent that is totally the point. There is… backstory there, ya know? I am sure our “sisterness” makes it harder on me than on them. Well, I take it worse, that is! My sis is a good person, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings even tho she drives me nuts!

  2. You know the cliche, “take a walk in somebody elses shoes?” Not as easy as it sounds. Hopefully your sister is in the weight loss bible group to show support to you and her friends. I can understand how ironic it is though, and then she is a diet junkie. Vegan and raw foods? I consider that an extreme end on the diet spectrum. Sophabroad gave good advice about writing a letter. That is sometimes easier than talking about it. As for dieting, I have found and giving up unhealthy foods, like soda and replacing it with water, helped me lose a lot of weight. It also helped my health and my teeth. However, the most important part of any diet is exercise. Anyways, just remember your sister probably isn’t trying to annoy you and does love you. That’s how my sisters are with me. Have a great day.

    • Hmm… I don’t know if she’s there to be supportive as much as she is to be bossy – she is the big sister, after all! But, as the middle sister, I’ve learned to try to just deal with it… but sometimes it’s hard. I know she loves me and isn’t purposely trying to be annoying! I guess I am upset because I feel I have really tried to talk to her about how I feel, and it’s like she won’t listen. And I suppose there is also “baggage” involved, huh?
      Yes, I am trying to give up the “bad” stuff without going overboard.. maybe just because I can’t do it all at once. I have given up sodas, and am working on giving up sugar… that’s the hardest for me as it’s my big addiction.

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