With each passing day my podunk little job is getting more and more difficult to deal with. I work in a family-owned and run business, and most of the people who work there – all women – are family members or friends with each other. Yeah, you can hardly imagine why that might be a problem, huh?! It’s not like I am feeling excluded; not at all. In fact, a bit more of that would be a good thing at this point! The trouble is that I am finding myself being, I don’t know, the confidant of sorts, the go-between of other people’s issues with one another… and I so don’t wanna be there.
The problem I seem to be facing more and more often – and this is happening outside of work as well – is the following scenario:
Someone comes to me, truly hurt because someone else told them something they didn’t want to hear about themselves. Something that they totally can’t believe could possibly be true about themselves. Such as “you are such a huge whiner!” “you are really mean” “you are obnoxious so much of the time” or, whatever. (these are all adults, by the way.) Then this person, who is in tears or nearly, asks me “am I really like that?” Okay. Seriously. How do you answer that question when the answer is “Yes. Yes you are.” ?? Because this person is already wounded by that other person saying that they are – whatever – and so then what am I supposed to say? I am beginning to think I am supposed to, somehow, be finding ways to let people know that, yeah, you have a bit of a shortcoming there but I know you’re not a bad person, and you don’t want to be that way…. or, something like that. Maybe. Or maybe I should just start poking myself in the eye with a stick. Quite enjoyable either way, I suppose….