I am in withdrawal. It’s not pretty. Seriously. I’m not kidding.
I love sugar. I adore sugar. In all it’s forms, but mostly the cookie and other pastries shape. Oh, and ice cream. Ice cream is gooood. Sugar is what comforts me when I am sad and when I am hurting, or lonely… and with all the crap that’s gone on in my life, well, that would explain the current shape I am in. (That shape being round, and rather lumpy.)
So, with my family’s help (because, altho they are in waaay better shape than me, wouldn’t be hurt by a bit of healthy living) we are on a “healing diet”. Mostly raw nuts, seeds, vegetables, along with some good protein and healthy fats. Urgh. It’s been just 4 days and I hate salad in any form. (Well, that’s not true… a good mayonaise-based salad would be bliss at the moment… sigh…) I haven’t eaten once in the last 4 days because the meal actually sounded good; it’s only been to keep from starving. Which is – the point? Is it?
I know it will be good for me. This kind of eating is supposed to clean me out, reset my metabolism, and restore my cells to good health. My goal is to be able to – after many, many years – finally buy and wear some clothes that are cute. Because I have become so bored with myself.
But change is so hard! Not only the outside, which would be the eating… but the inside problems, the ones that are why I eat the way I do in the first place… those are still there. And they are all screaming for some pastries, now!! Or, ice cream. mmmmm
We’ll see who holds out longest… me, or the voices in my head.