I am not loving being old. Well, old-er. I don’t feel old… well, mentally. Physically, yeah… I could be 80. But mentally I still think I am about 30 or so. Not nearly 50. When I talk to another adult, I don’t think “geez, I could be this person’s mom” although quite often that’s the case. I think of us as peers; then I find out this person was a junior high school student of my brother-in-law, and still can’t bring themself to call him by his first name… even tho they now have three kids of their own! It’s so weird. My husband and I were talking about this today… he is kind of a kidder, and he has always talked to people the same way (a little sarcastic, to be honest) and he says suddenly he is realizing that with the younger women he gets this strange look like he’s “that creepy old guy”…. and he’s not creepy – honest! I guess it just comes across wrong when he is talking to 20-somethings… our 40-and-over crowd find him completely hilarious. sigh. I wonder sometimes if it’s because we had our daughter so late in life, because most of her friend’s parents are at least a decade younger than me; most of my ‘same-aged’ friends have children who are married… so, yeah, that makes it kind of weird. But I was talking to my mom about this the other day, and she said she still forgets how old she is until she looks in the mirror. Or spends too much time gardening and can barely get out of bed next morning. It’s just part of aging, I guess. The body gets old but the brain forgets to.
Of course, there is also the sad, hard part of getting old that is getting harder and harder to ignore. This is the fact that my parents are getting old as well. This was brought down on me like a load of bricks yesterday… because I spent the morning with my nearly 80 year old mom at the urgent care getting her head stitched up after she tripped over her slippers and split her head open. Mom has always been a “go-er” – she is like a little energizer bunny – but these days her mind is sometimes running faster than her body, I guess. It was awful watching her go down and not being able to get to her, and awful waiting while she got an xray to make sure she hadn’t broken anything in her neck (she says her head doesn’t really hurt at all, but her neck is pretty painful). And I hate this part. I mean, these are my parents who have always, always been there for me; been there to help me out in so many ways. It’s hard thinking that I will have to start taking care of them one day when they always have been so self-sufficient. Yeah, they’re doing great for nudging up to 80, but, still.
Then, there is still the humorous part. That’s the part happening right this very minute as I watch my dad and my husband both dozing in their chairs here in the middle of the day… my husband waking himself up each time he snores. Which is about every 5 minutes. Hmmm…. maybe we really are old!