Quietly, Subtly Rebellious

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From the outside I look like a fairly well-behaved girl.  I generally do what I am supposed to do, without too much fussing.  Not exterior fussing, anyway.  Growing up, I almost always did what was expected of me, didn’t go off the deep end or anything.  I was never a party girl, even though I thought that would be sooo much fun – way more exciting than the quiet, submissive life I was leading.  That ended the night I took my dog for a walk past a huge, high school party that was happening right at the end of my street.  I walked by on purpose, trying to catch a glimpse of “that life”.  I saw a girl come out the front door – she was about the most popular girl in school.  Perfect body, perfect skin, perfect hair.  Cheerleader.  Dating the big athlete.  The girl I wanted to be.  She stumbled down the porch steps; she was crazy drunk.  She laughed to some of her friends then walked face-first *smack* into a tree in the yard.  Hard.  She fell backwards, crying.  Her friends gazed at her, and since they were at least as drunk as she was, they just laughed and laughed… no one helped her up.   There and then I decided I didn’t really want to be that girl.  That maybe being myself wasn’t all that bad.

Still, I have this nasty rebellious streak in me.  The kind that, when I am on my way to, oh, I don’t know, wash the dishes, will turn around and leave them dirty if my husband happens to say while I am walking to the sink something about am I just going to leave those dishes in the sink…. you big jerk, I was on my way but they might just stay there all week now!! No matter that I really want to wash them and put them away – now that you told me to, no way I’m gonna.   Yeah, that kind of thing. Last week my small Bible study group was trying to pick a new book to read (no, not a book from the Bible… altho that would make sense, right?  more of a book to, I don’t know, extend our knowledge? anyway…) so, someone had a suggestion, and some others hadn’t heard of that particular book, so someone pulled it up on their computer and read off a little synopsis of it… and I’ll tell you what.  I have had several people tell me it’s a good book, and I had wanted to read it.  But this reviewer made it sound like you’d have to be a complete jerk if you didn’t read it.  Like you must want to be sub-par, complacent.  I’m sure that isn’t the intent of their writing, but phoof… someone is going to have to make me read that book now, ’cause I sure as heck don’t plan on reading it willingly!!

Yeah, I am a pain in the butt like that.  And my husband finds it rather hilarious to push that button… even though it usually backfires on him.  He’s kinda dumb that way.

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