Alrighty ~ I promised the information, so here it is! Really, the title of this post says it all. There is nothing inherantly wrong with Virginia, (well, okay, the humidity – and the ticks) and it’s not a bad place – in fact, it is full of rich history, and there is so much to see and to do… but, it’s not "home". I guess Alan and I are just Westerners, deep down. If you’ve never had the opportunity to live in or spend significant time in both places, you may not understand that they are very, very different. I don’t even know if I could really explain that. (Also, the South is probably pretty different from either, but since I’ve never lived in or even visited the South, I can’t really speak to that.) It’s like…. an attitude, a frame of mind. In the West, we are more laid back, casual. I’d even say friendlier, but maybe it’s not so much "nicer" as it is "more outgoing"? I’ve met a lot of nice people, but…. I don’t know, it’s the ones you haven’t really "met", like in the market and such – it’s like there is an automatic ‘dislike’ then, they’ll get back to ya later on that… There is all this frenetic energy here, and I find it draining. It’s crowded and dirty. Now, partly, this next bit is due to the exact area that we live in, but… well, there are just too many rich people here. That probably sounds nutty, but we live in an area that is mainly government employees and contractors (and I can tell you exactly where too much of your tax dollars are going!!). The number of ridiculously huge homes and yards around here is gross. I can’t even tell you. I’ve always been pretty firmly in the middle class, but for the first time in my life I feel more like I am in the lower class. I feel very poor. I suppose, if we were doing better financially, our experience here would feel pretty different. Of all that "so much to see and do" we can afford to see or do very little. It costs nearly as much to visit Mt. Vernon or Williamsburg as it does to spend a day at Disneyland, and we can barely pay our bills! We not only pay a crazy amount for rent, but everything else is pricey as well. (example: our sales tax is over 8%!) We knew, coming here, that things would be more expensive, but I guess our sources didn’t help us to really understand just how impacting that would be. I know this will sound racist, but I am tired of people who live and work here who don’t even have a basic grasp of the English language. I wouldn’t expect to go to their countries and get a job working with the public if I couldn’t even understand them, or make myself understood by them. Really – it’s annoying.
Then, there are things that really aren’t related to ‘where’ we live… such as Alan absolutely hating his job. I don’t blame him; in fact I was concerned as soon as he decided to go back to work for this company, as they have been jerks in the past, so their current jerkiness comes as no surprise. The fact they left us ‘stranded’ without a car for him is only one of the many lousy things they have done. Then there is the issue of our child – she still really misses her friends and cousins ‘back home’, and we both really miss her school (the homeschool co-op). It’s been a lonely and isolating year for her. If we planned to stay indefinately, well, she’d just have to suck it up and do her best to make friends (and believe me, we have tried!) but since we miss Idaho and our family so dang much, we figured we better move back while she is still connected there, rather than waiting a few years until she’s connected here, just to drag her away once again… We just don’t see ourselves living here long term. When we were first headed out here, I thought maybe I’d love it, love the pace and the place…. but I haven’t found that to be the case. I miss "home".
So – as soon as our lease is up on our apartment, we are packing up and heading back. We don’t have jobs, we don’t have a house; heck, we barely have a plan… but we’re going! The plan we do have is this: Stay with my parents (hopefully very temporarily!) Find jobs just to cover the few bills we have, then Alan plans on starting his own lawncare company. He’s done it for years, loves doing it, loves the customers…. just no longer wants to do it for "the man", lol. My parents have offered to give us part of our inheritance to start the business, and to fund the trip back. We are trying to sell at least 1/3 of our household belongings because it’s just too much to take it all back – and we don’t need it. There are a few more "plans" but they are so much in the beginning stages that I’m not even going to get into them yet….
I would ask for your prayers…. for guidance, for help… and specifically for me – well, after last year’s horrid search for Kiki’s beloved dolls in the sweat and ‘horror’ of the storage units, I have developed this really weird…. I don’t know, a ‘problem’ with going to the storage units. I HAVE to go there, I have so much to go through, to organize, to sell… but even the mere thought of it sends me into a panic attack. I get shaky and sick to my stomach just thinking about going over there. Add to that the fact that it is already into the hot and humid part of our year… and I despise the sweating … well, I have been putting it off for too long, and it’s not getting done by the storage unit fairies, so I guess I am the one who has to ‘suck it up’… but it’s a physical reaction, and very hard to deal with. So, pray for me, my friends.