…..sigh…….

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It’s time to face it.  I’m depressed.  Seriously, Prozac-needing depressed.  Not as depressed as ‘standing-in-front-of-the-mirror-counting-the-pills-in-the-medicine-cabinet-"will it kill me"-depressed’….just crying-all-the-time depressed.  So as a brilliant move, I went to buy a new pair of jeans today.  Because as anyone with a brain knows, trying on clothes is a sure-fire cheering up for a fat chick.  I’m really pissed off at WalM*rt.  Not for the ordinary sucking the life out of the mom-and-pop store irritations; this is for the fact they quit making my jeans.  See, I found this one particular pair of fat-lady ‘their brand’ jeans, that if I bought the same style and same size, they fit.  Every time.  So I didn’t have to try anything on…. avoiding the crying and all, so it seemed a good thing.  Well, I’ve been needing a pair for….awhile.  The old ones were in imminent danger of ripping in the upper thigh area (all that rubbing together, you know) and I had one fairly new pair that I broke the zipper on last week, idiot moi…. but I’ve looked at every WalM in the valley and no one seems to be carrying them anymore!  Yesterday, the last pair finally lost the battle of the threads, so it was time, no matter how much I wished to avoid it.  So I tried a couple of pairs of pants on, and the only reason I didn’t just sit in the dressing room and sob was because Kiki was with me, and, well, I’m trying not to let her see her mama have a full-on meltdown!  So I’m gonna have to go to "The Fat Lady Store" (aka Lane Bry*nt) and pay too much for a pair of jeans… and, I’m not taking Kiki.  Just in case.
 
We finished watching "Fiddler on the Roof".  I’d never seen the movie before, only the stage play – which was brilliant; as I remember it, anyhow.  That is a really good movie.  Kiki thinks otherwise – she prefers her movies wrapped up neatly in an "everyone lives happily ever after" bundle.  I don’t blame her.  I was young once.  I think I cried through the last hour of the show.  Alan thinks I’m a little emotional lately.  Thank you, Captain Obvious!
 
I took a bunch of pics of the pumpkin patch excursion – I’ll post them later.  We had a good time.  It was so warm and sunny, I was sweating in a sleevelss top and came home with a sunburn.  Didn’t I just say we had ice on everything last week?   We have the weirdest weather. 
 
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5 responses »

  1. You might try walmart on line. They have tons of things on line that aren\’t in stores .And you can get
    instore pickup.
    Have a great day.
    Bill

  2. So sorry for you – been there, done that with the crying thing.  I wouldn\’t give up my meds for ANYTHING… not even jeans that make my butt look like Cindy Crawford\’s. 
    You made me laugh with the dog fart comments.  We used to have a golden retriever who did the same thing: sit down, fart loudly, then jump up to see what it was that she sat on.  I think it was just a diversion technique… so we would think it came out of the floor.
    Sorry I can\’t help with the jean dilemma… everytime I find something I like, my arse shifts a little or something and then I have to start all over in my quest for the best denim.  Oh, to be a guy who can just buy by the numbers and never worry about the fit.  pftht!

  3. Oh, Sweetie.  I so know how you feel!  Don\’t let it go any further.  Although I am on SSRI meds and will be forever, probably, I have two brothers who go on them occasionally as needed.  There is no shame in it and it can get you over the hump.
     
    Also, no more calling yourself and idiot even if you are channeling a muppet!  Please pick up the book "Telling Yourself the Truth" at a Christian bookstore and read it.  Really read it.  In His love, g

  4. Well, ya know Ann, Lane Bry*nt has some nice things.  It\’s not the \’fat lady\’ store. You\’re too hard on yourself.
    I hate jean shopping too.  I was at the mall last week and spent 4 hours with just jeans.  I got one lousy pair (and a headache).

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