No, I’m not dead yet.  You wouldn’t know it by my presence here, but I swear life is just moving on….It’s not like I’m hyper-busy or anything, and yet I never seem to find the time to log on…. I have practically been ‘non-on-line’ at all.  Well.  So, wassup with me??  Like, everything and yet, nothing.  Alan hasn’t gotten a new job.  He did get an offer in Virginia, but not for the job he’d applied for… no, it was a different one, in a city called "Sterling".  Which is much closer to D.C., therefore much more expensive to live.  And it doesn’t seem nearly as historical and, well, cute, as Charlottesville does.   A job for the same company opened up here locally, so of course he’s applied for it, but who knows what – if anything – will come of that.   The RV gig has been rough this month… so rough, in fact, he’s made exactly…. nothing.  Not a single dollar.  Which makes it a bit tough to pay your bills!  As for me, I have been trying to discover if Ignorance really is Bliss.  I am just reading, and napping, and otherwise trying to be completely oblivious to the fact that the proverbial you-know-what is about to hit the fan.  Because really, we desperately need to sell our house (if we don’t want to lose it) and yet that seems like work, and like admitting the situation really is about as bad as it can get.  So here I am again, with a livingroom so messy that when a car parked in front of our house today, I hoped like mad that no one had seen me through the window, and was trying to decide if I should pretend not to be home when they rang the doorbell.  (Crisis averted – they went next door, I guess.)  But how stupid is my life?? 
Kiki has been sick for 4 days now.  Flu, cold, I don’t know really.  I’ve had to drag her to work, and let her sleep in the back of my SUV while I worked.  Which hasn’t made my love for the job grow any.  I mean, it’s not a bad job – I just don’t want a job outside of mom and homeschool teacher right now. 
We’ve all been eating our way through this crisis of a job situation…. which of course doesn’t help a thing in the long run. 
OH!  The coast was awesome, of course!  I love the beach more than just about anyplace on earth.  Kiki found a bunch of shells, including sorts she hadn’t found in past trips, and she even found a starfish that had recently died.  (I know this because the thing stunk to high heaven, oh-my!)  He’s been out on the back porch drying for a week now, and I think he has finally lost his stench and could be brought inside.  The weather was fabulous!  I was  on the Oregon Coast sitting on the beach in a tank top and was actually hot.  Amazing.  The only downside to the trip was my dad – well, that is, the way he treated Kiki.  Everytime she wanted to eat, he gave her a lecture on being fat.  I was ready to just…just….aaarrgghh!  I don’t know, slap the man.  I found it hard to tell him how I felt and still be respectful of him as my father.  I did say a few things to him, but it’s like he doesn’t even hear it.  He thinks he’s helping – like, "oh, geez, you mean eating candy won’t help me lose weight??  Oh, I weigh more than I should??  Well, good thing you pointed it out, because I didn’t have a stinkin’ clue, man!!"  I haven’t even gone over to see my parents since the trip – I’m still pretty pissed about some stuff he said.  I mean, I don’t care what he says to me so much, but don’t give my poor daughter a complex!  It’s not her fault.  She eats what Alan and I bring into the house…..  well I don’t want to talk about that deal anymore. 
Well, here are a few pictures…. I’ll try to put up a new album soon…. and post soon without being so negative…..
Here are some pics –
The view from our room –
How cool is a swing on the beach?!
 My little girl has a style all her own!! 

5 responses »

  1. Welcome back! Glad you wrote a post – it\’s okay to write about \’real\’ life, Ann! It doesn\’t always have to be positive. You\’re supposed to be able to write about what\’s truly going on in your life and sometimes it\’s not all good – I hate those blogs that are always so "sunshiney" – you wonder what they\’re hiding!! hee…Alan will find a job – hope it\’s the one he applied for locally. Hang in there…as far as your dad, if only he knew nagging about weight only makes the situation worse…we all want what we can\’t have, and if someone continually harps on the fact that we can\’t eat certain foods, it just makes us want it more…I know, I grew up with a mother that watched everything I put in my mouth!! I know they\’re trying to help, they just aren\’t using the right tools. But don\’t ignore your parents…you never know when they may not be around…I don\’t want you to have any regrets. Anyway, things will look up soon, Ann….Caty

  2. You know, about the weight thing, when I was about 10, right before puberty, I was chubby and my mom let me know it.  She would say things like, "as least you have a pretty face."   And this when I had to eat the food she made, which was bread, potatoes, a little meat and soggy vegetables.  What she said FOREVER has made me feel differently about my weight.  I have always felt FAT, whether I was or not.  I had a 27 inch waiste in high school and thought I was a fat slob.  Now, I don\’t blame my mom for what I have put in my mouth over the years.  that has been me….and I have really gotten fat the older I get.  I, after I reached 40, have finally learned to like me for me, big ass and all. 
    I have talked about all this with Marissa and how what people say, in a supposed effort to help, can be said the very wrong way and hurt the ones we care about.  We have talked about how she has to be stronger than the faint echo of the voice in her head of the repeated comments of other people.  And know that it can effect her if she lets it.  There will always be people saying something, whether it is someone you know or some stranger saying someting rude.  I try to tell her that she has to be stronger than that.  So far, she doesn\’t have a fat complex, which at 13 is very good. 
    I try not to say \’diet\’.  We need to eat \’healthier.\’  Plus, I have offered to buy us both new clothes if we manage to eat healthier and get down to near the weight we want to.

  3. I like hearing from you and am so glad you posted.  I have been online lots… just nothing to write in my blog.  I think Kiki\’s style is so cute, and I know she gets enough encouraging words from you that what others say will hopefully just roll right off her stylish little back.

  4. My dad was much like yours, and they do mean well, and I kept that in mind, not letting resentments fester, and I am so glad that I did.  I miss my dad more than I care about being hurt by his lack of understanding.  It didn\’t interfere with my realizing he loved me.  I told my children that we won\’t always be understood by our own family, much less strangers, and that we need to accept criticism, get the good out of it, and go on when there is nothing we can do about it, fair or not.  Life isn\’t fair and the sooner we can learn that disappointment is something we all have to deal with and face the sooner we can get passed it.  It took my youngest a while to sort that out, because his brother was favored by his grandfather, and he eventually got passed that.  You can\’t change others.  You can only change yourself.
    The pictures are great!  It looks like you had a much needed change and some relaxation.

  5. Since we lived in Northern VA I am quite familiar with Sterling and it is as you say.  The entire Fairfax County and vicinity have grown with the computer and business industry through the years.  It is an expensive and highly taxed area.  I could start talking politics here but will refrain…lol.   When I was a divorced single parent I moved into another county because of that…downsizing an already modest lifestyle.  The Lord helped me through a step at a time and I do pray that as you follow His leading doors will be opened for you and your dear family.

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