Well, it got worse, but I’m okay now (well, as okay as ever!)

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We took the dog back, which really was sad, but I felt a great relief when it was over – obviously, it wasn’t meant to be.  Even Kiki said, "well, I don’t feel so bad now – I’m just going to think of it as ‘Merry had a sleep-over’, that’s all."  The foster gal was very sweet about it, and I did admit to her that he wasn’t so awful that he wouldn’t ever get along with a cat at all…that maybe, since Bob loves Merry and gets a big thrill out of attacking her, and he did indeed launch himself (playfully!) at the poor Springer the very moment he came inside, well, maybe they just got off on the wrong foot! 
 
Later, we went to my parent’s house where we were all having a Mother’s Day BBQ.  Which was really nice – until the very end, as we headed to the car to leave.  We were parked in the driveway, and down both sides of my car were long, deep scratches… it seems my nephew (he’s 8) was riding the old bike without hand grips a little too close to my car…. AARrrggghhh!!!   These scratches, I’m talking both of them over a foot long and down to the metal! Of course it was right down the middle so it affects all 4 doors… crap.   He had to have known he did it, but decided to pretend it didn’t happen… they had already left by then, so later on when I went over to their house to take my niece home (she’d come home with us to play with Kiki)  I had to tell the parents about it, and confront my nephew.  This was a really hard thing for me; I really agonized over what I should do.  Ignore it?  Confront it?  The thing is, I believe that doing something like that and not confessing is just about equal to lying.  At my house, you’d better  ‘fess up if you have an accident…. because if I find it later – and I will then your butt will really be in a sling!  Which is how I knew Kiki hadn’t done it, because she’d have been inside all hysterical and scared… the other two nieces were inside the whole time…so that left the nephew and his sister (the one at my house) as the only suspects.  This whole family has trouble with lying to begin with.  It started with my little sister and her husband, so the kids learned early to lie to get out of trouble… then, the new wife, well, she isn’t a whole lot better that I can see.  Plus, she is horribly strict with the kids – lots of law, not much grace… so I know they lie to try not getting punished.  Which made it so hard to ‘tattle’ so to speak!  I really, really felt like he (or they) had to admit what they’d done and say they were sorry for damaging my car.  I told them I understand accidents happen, but that they need to be honest when these things happen and see if they can ‘make it right’ somehow; at least apologize.  It was agonizing to stand there, watching him deny and deny and then finally admit "well, I did a little of it, but not all of it" … still, trying to shift the blame somehow… it’s horrible.  And my niece basically admitted the same…. But, to have it plain in your face and still be unwilling to just say "Yes, I did it, and I’m really sorry"… I don’t know, I just don’t get that.  I wasn’t raised that way!  Well, I told them I forgave them, and I loved them, and please if something like that happened again would they just tell me up front.  But then I have to worry about how my b-i-l’s wife is going to punish them – I know that it will be way too harsh, and I feel really bad about that.  So, I just hope my niece and nephew won’t hate me forever for being the Aunt-that-tattled.  How would you have chosen to handle this situation??
 
So, all in all in was a pretty lousy day!  I went to bed last night and slept for 12 hours!!  The stress got to me, I guess.  I have no idea how I will ever afford to get the car fixed… since Alan isn’t selling anything…. But, it’s a new day… and tomorrow is coming soon…
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7 responses »

  1. i hope that my kids will fess up to doing stuff too…i hate when kids lie…and my niece is always lying…about everything…it\’s sad really… 
    ♥~♥ :oD the shortest distance between two people is a smile… :oD ♥~♥

  2. I think you handled it the best way you could…you made your nephew accountable for his actions. Good job, Ann. I\’m sorry that Alan isn\’t selling any RVs…gosh, and last month was so good. I\’ll bet the price of gasoline has something to do with it, of course, so it\’s a tough time. I don\’t know one person that doesn\’t have financial strains now…join the club! Lousy economy and kinda scary. Hope things look up for you…if not, we\’re in this together…Caty

  3. you did the right thing and down the road it will make the children actually be able to come to you quicker because they know that you are fair and right.  Kids don\’t rebel against adults who are fair.  LJ

  4. Enjoy reading your blogs….sorry the dog didn\’t work out – you made the right decision.  Also right about confronting the nephew about the scratches.  Hopefully, he\’ll remember if anything like that happens again and do the right thing.   With kids you never know if you strike the right cord or not!

  5. Man, what a bummer.  I definitely would have asked the parents to deal with the situation.  It\’s so much harder when it\’s family isn\’t it?  Or is it easier?  I guess when it\’s a neighbor or something we tend to be a little more gracious up front, and then behind their backs stay angry at them for weeks.  With family, you\’ve got to clear the air or you can\’t face each other at the next party.  Ouch, sorry you had to deal with that.

  6. It sounds like you handled it the best you could. I think leading by example is admirable and who knows maybe you showed their mom something.  I was just catching up, what a bummer about your husband\’s job. I think you guys have the right attitude. I can understand having a hard tme with it though. I feel strongly that God is telling m staying home is what is best right now but we don\’t have any extra money and aren\’t significantly paying off debt.  However there always seems to be a way…

  7. Sorry it didn\’t work out about the other doggie.
     
    You did the right thing about telling… and it shows real love. 
     
     

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