Partly rational with brief periods of coherent thought giving way to complete apathy by tonight.
So here’s what I’ve decided. I am going to include my weight struggles on this blog, but not let it overcome the blog. This blog is about my life – the good, the bad and the ugly. I’d say the weight definately falls into the final catagory. Cata – Gory! Yeah. Besides, I’d never be able to keep up two separate blogs, c’mon now. What was I thinking?? I’ve been sort of hiding this part of my life, but I need some place to whine about my obesity struggles! I’m pretty tired of being the ‘token fat girl’ in my family, my school, my church… I know there are more of us out there, but somehow they aren’t in my groups. I’m tired of sitting around with the other homeschool moms as they all discuss their latest healthy craze. I mean, good for them, seriously! They are doing what they should, but it makes me feel like a gigantic loser. Emphasis on gigantic, not so much of a loser, or I wouldn’t be in this sitch, right?! But c’mon, could we discuss our kids, or homeschooling, or something?? So I bought a pair of walking shoes. I wanted the cool lime green trimmed ones, but they didn’t have them in my size – so I got the boring baby blue trimmed ones. sigh. The point is they are comfy and I need to walk. Kiki and I have walked all but one day this week… it was her "in school" day, so I got caught up in other jobs and forgot. But, I’ve started! Alan was harrassing me because I went to the grocery store and came home without any "goodies". Geez, what a lot of help he is! The real point of adding this here is that I am hoping it will encourage me to stay on task… a bit of accountability. Somehow when I write stuff here, in black and white (or, pink or purple…. anyway, the printed word!) it seems to help me sort thru stuff a bit. Well. Here we go.
So I am going to post a – gulp – picture of myself. You don’t find many of these. There is more than one reason that I am the one behind the camera! On this day, I’d handed Alan the camera to take shots of the herons…(remember that post?) Who knew he was taking my picture??! Totally not cool! Except that means I have a recent photo of myself to put here….
Funny that he got one where my hand was covering my face, huh? Since I’m going for the whole "incognito" bit on this blog… I’ll tell you all my ‘insides’ but don’t want you to recognize my ‘outsides’…Lol!!
Well, there you have it. As you can see, I am ‘chubbing out’ my little kiddo as well… another big reason that things have got to change!
I am also going to let you in on my biggest secret!! Not even Alan knows this…. my weight. 276. Keep in mind I am only 5’2". I only put this here to make the progress seem all the more real. Ouch. That is painful, honestly.
Let’s see where tomorrow takes me!!