Crash!! Thud!! And other Cat-tastrophies (and the “my hubby is a dork” story!)

  It’s official – I am NOT a cat person.  This guy is making me crazy.  Last night I woke up to a loud crashing sound…the stinkin’ kitten was on top of my kitchen cabinets, (like, up by the ceiling!) and he knocked down a metal bucket of silk flowers.  Sure, at least he picked something unbreakable.  I heard more crashing later – jumped back out of bed – but never did figure out what it was that time.  I’ve had to take down Kiki’s bed canopy, move bunches of breakable things, and can’t figure out how we’ll do our Christmas decorating….crud.  I’ve had to chase him around the back yard for more than 15 minutes in below freezing temperatures at 2 am because he shot out past the dog (being let out for a potty break) and refused to come in.  If he wasn’t Kiki’s cat,  I’d have left him out there.  Even if he froze.  Or got eaten by the neighbor’s dog.  I was that pissed.  So that’s what I get for trying to be a good mom.  For letting Kiki get the pet of her dreams.  But haha!!  She agrees with me now….she should’ve gotten a puppy.  At least at some point a puppy turns into a dog who wants to please you and learns what you want.  Sure, the cat knows what I want – or more specifically, where I don’t want him.  He just doesn’t give a crap.  Because he’s a cat. 

 

Don’t get me wrong… I love him.  He’s furry, and he’s ours.  I am an animal lover.  He’s not going to get sent to the pound or anything.  He’s endlessly entertaining.  He and the dog get along great…it’s fun to watch them play.  For a cat, he’s a pretty good one.  But there’s the rub…he’s a cat.  Oh, boy, is he a cat.

 

The promised story….it involves the cat…..

Kiki made this Indian Diorama for history (oh, sorry…Native American) and the cat thinks it’s his new bed.  He loves boxes; especially one someone spent hours decorating, I guess.  We finally put it on top of the TV so he couldn’t (ha) get it.  But, there he was.  Alan subscribes to the  "training pets by throwing them across the room" method, so after my failed attempt to coax the cat down (I can’t reach that high) Alan grabs him and attempts to huck him out of the room.  (I know, it’s not a good method…sue him.  I can’t change the man, I’ve tried…)  Well, on the way out, the cat grabs the wire top of the rat cage…and I guess he got a good grip with those cat claws…so cat, cage, rat, everything comes crashing down.  Kiki and the rat both are silent and wide-eyed.  The cat takes off for parts unknown.  The bottom half of the cage is a glass aquarium, now broken and shattered.  Alan is just standing there…the expression on his face was priceless!  It was like, crap.  I just did something very very stupid.  I knew it was a bad idea before I did it, but I am the "knower of all things", so I can do what I want.  But everyone saw me.  What a dork I am.   Now, just for throwing the cat, I’d have been all opening the can of whoop a**  on him…it makes me so mad when he does something like that!   So I don’t know why, exactly, but the look on his face I guess…I just started laughing.  And laughing.  I just looked at him and said "what a moron!" and he said, "uh, yep."  He had to clean up the mess…Kiki and I cleaned up the other cage and re-settled the poor rat.  I just found the whole thing hilarious.  Because I love it when my dear "logical and smart" husband does something so utterly stupid.  Because I can use it against him!  This one, for years to come.  Call me a bad pet owner for laughing, but geez it was funny!  And no one got hurt!  Well, it may have shortened the poor ratties little life, I don’t know. Okay, so that part is sad.  But still.  I can’t wait to share this incident with our families!!