It’s time to take the old grey mare out behind the barn and shoot her

I’m old.  I’m worn out.  Just one bullet.  Oh, fine.  At least just turn me out to pasture to live out my remaining days.
I had to go get an xray of my ankle today.  It is swollen and very painful, and my doctor thought I might have a stress fracture.  I didn’t, and I figured I wouldn’t….my "bars of iron" bones don’t tend to break.  I didn’t hurt it.  I mean, not in an obvious "oh, I’ve turned my ankle" sort of deal.  When we were at the coast, it just began to get more and more painful so by the end of the week I was really hobbling.  The doctor said sand can hurt your ankles because you don’t have good footing.  But where we were, the sand was moist and very well packed.  I think it is "stress"…after all, your ankle would be stressed, too, if it had to support the weight of 2 normal-sized female adults 24/7 rather than just one.  Of course there is the ongoing weight struggle.  And the ‘craziness’ factor.  (as an aside…. I go to this little pharmacy, and the pharmacist is the nicest, nicest man.  It’s nice to walk into a place where they know you, unlike some big chain pharmacy place.  Except that, well, they know every little thing that is wrong with you!   He knows I homeschool, and he thinks it’s really great.  Well, a couple weeks ago, right after school got out, Kiki and I went in there, and he was talking to her about summer, and then to me about how I must really have some great sort of, I don’t remember how he put it…. just something about the sort of disposition I must have in order to homeschool…the patience, the organization, the strength of character….  all this as I am paying for my refill of PROZAC!!!  Lol.   I almost told him "yep, these little babies make it all possible." )  Sooooo…. yesterday at the doctor, I also had her look at this rash on my leg.  It’s actually on my inner thigh at the very top.  I’ve had it since the ‘race for the cure’ when my pants were a bit loose and my thighs rubbed together the whole way….yuck.   I occasionally get outbreaks of eczema, and I had figured it was just that, but my regular creams weren’t making it better.  About a week ago I had Alan look at it for me (well, it’s not really like I can glance down in my crotch, people!) and he was like "Gross!  It’s like a brain!  Seriously, I’ve seen something like that in a horror show!"  Ooooo-kaaaaay.  That’s nice, thanks, hon.   So, the doc looks at it and…. it’s a fungus.  Like, you know….  I have ….. jock itch.  O-M-G!!!!!!!  How totally horrible is that??????    I was like "how do you get that??!!"  And she said "just skin rubbing against skin" which makes total sense given how it started.  But then I was reading up on it on ‘webmd’ and it makes it sound like you get it if you never bathe or launder your underwear. (or your jock strap….)   I swear to you all, I put on freshly laundered undies every-single-day!!   And my jock strap is always clean.  eeeyyywww.  So, my nice little pharmacist stayed open late to fill my prescription (he’s right next door to my doctor, and she called to ask if he would) so, yes, he now knows one more of my ‘dirty little secrets’.    I hope you will all still be my friends!!  
So, yeah, I am just a mess.  Ridden hard and put away wet.  (that’s a horse phrase, by the way, lest you get any weird ideas!  You never put away a sweaty horse without rubbing it down first, that’s what it means!)
Oh, and here’s the kicker….. you know Kiki is off at camp, right?  The hubby and I are all alone.  The house to ourselves.  We went out on a lovely date this evening, then when we got home, I was doing the whole ‘webmd’ thing…and guess what?   It’s contagious.  Yeah.  So Alan was like "sorry, babe, I’m not signing up for that."   Which is why he is in bed asleep, and I am still here online.  Life is so not fair, lol!!

5 responses »

  1. I\’m still LOL!  What a riot you are, Ann!  I totally get you.  We must be sisters of the heart or something, because everything you say strikes a chord in me.  How are the plans coming for the party this weekend?  Did you start that list yet?  I know how my life would be without one…I\’ve been there too many times!  Your sister will be a big help, right?  Have you heard anything from the camping front?  It won\’t be long now and she\’ll be arriving home with that bag full of smelly, damp, yucko laundry to do.  But there will also be many wonderful experiences to share and stories to tell.  She\’ll be so proud of herself for going and sticking it out, too.  I will continue to send up prayers for your ankle to heal, your list to be accomplished, and your time alone to be enjoyed.

  2. Yeah, but isn\’t it nice to have all your dirty secrets in one place.  If word gets out, you know who to shoot. 
    You also don\’t HAVE to refer to it as jock itch.  It\’s the very same thing as Athlete\’s Foot so you COULD say you have Athletes\’ THIGH which sounds like something a very fit person might get. 
    I do hope it all gets better…  SOON!

  3. So happy you had a great trip.  Not being one to want to talk before my tea in the morning, I relate and am happy for you that you are having some down time from the Keekster.  So sorry to hear about your ills!  Is it fractured?  I pray that you heal quickly, g

  4. You know, jock itch meds can be for more than just jock itch. Sam got a rash and we were told to use meds for Athlete\’s foot, for HIS BUTT! But it worked great!

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