Ah…the joy of Peace and Quiet

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I’m wondering…. am I a bad mom?
 
Because I get to answer my own question before anyone else can, I am going to say "No, you are not a bad mom….certain unnamed parties who reside in this household just don’t get it."   To answer the upcoming question "Huh?  What the heck is Ann talking about now??"  I will explain…..
 
Yesterday, Alan and I dropped Kiki off at Summer Camp.  It was a 3-hr drive (both ways, so total of 6hrs. + stops).  She will be up there almost a week; on Friday we drive up for closing ceremonies, a BBQ and to bring her home.  We got her settled into her cabin (a bit too quickly…check-in took for-flippin’ ever so we just got her in under the deadline… the other campers had already made ‘bunk-bed-name-tags’ and they were slipping into swim suits for a swimming test…) But, anyway….. I was fine.  Took a couple snapshots, gave her a hug and a kiss, the usual mom stuff.  She seemed okay, maybe a bit anxious for us to "go!"  As we were walking back to our car, I noticed Alan was choking back tears…then they began to fall down his cheeks.   Isn’t that sweet?  He was really upset about leaving his little girl all alone so far away.  He swore he could see a "look" on Kiki’s face that she was about to cry as well… now, I know her fairly well, being with her, like, always, and I didn’t see that….but, whatever.  It’s fine.  I’m sure she had a rough night of being homesick, but I am equally sure that at this very moment she is have a totally great time.  
As for me, well, of course I miss her, she’s my baby!  However, I cannot tell you how absolutely wonderful it was to wake up this morning to quiet.  I just lay there in bed, feeling the breeze blow in from the window, listening to the birds singing outside…aaahhhhhhh….You see, I am not a morning person.  I really don’t want anyone to talk to me until I’ve been up for, I dunno, maybe an hour?!   But I live with Chatty Cathy.  I awaken to "blah blah blah yakkity yakkity yak" every single morning.   Sitting on my bed, telling me…I don’t know what.  I’m not awake enough to be paying attention!  Don’t read this wrong….I wouldn’t trade my little Jabberbox for anything.   It’s just that, sometimes, I could use a break.  I never get one.  Until today.  And, I am quite content this morning.  Alan called a short while ago.  I mentioned to him how awesome it is to awake to quiet.  He said  "Oh, you know you would much rather have wakened to her talking this morning."   Uhm, no, actually, it was really nice…but, okay, sure, "yeah, of course I would"…. geez, so am I lying now, as well?  hmmm.  I mean, of course, after a couple days I am sure I am going to feel really lonely here; even in the morning!  And if I was worried about where she was, or thought she was unhappy somewhere, it would be totally different.   But for now, I am just revelling in the peace; in the thought that I can do whatever I want today, no interruptions, no "I need this, I need that" kind of thing that comes with being a mom.  I don’t want this condition to last, but it’s nice for a short change….and, it’s okay to feel that way, isn’t it??  Is it bad of me to be happy for a little break?  I just think, with Alan being at work everyday, not dealing with the 24/7/365 that I deal with, he doesn’t understand my need for a bit of  ‘alone time’.  Remember, she doesn’t even go off to school 5 days a week!  We see a lot of each other!!   So now I am feeling a little guilty… maybe I am a bad mama.  I don’t think so….. shoot.  I guess I had better go do some work to assuage my guilt a bit. 
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7 responses »

  1. Nope, we need that quiet time for our sanity!  I am currently in "going crazy" mode because me and my kids are home all day and NONE of us are used to it.  Ugh…  When does school start?
     
    g.j.

  2. Everyone deserves a little peace and quiet once in awhile, so, don\’t feel bad for one second.  You know Kiki will come home on Friday night with all kinds of stories about her fun week, so you also should enjoy this time.

  3. No, I don\’t think you are a bad mama at all.  I feel the same way when my husband takes the peanut over to his parent\’s for the day.  I just love the quiet.  And it\’s a different kind of quiet then when she\’s napping and I\’m always listening for her.  It\’s lovely!
     
    As for my trip, we are going to Hungary, which is right next to the Ukraine.  We are going for 10 days and the peanut is going with us.  She went with the first time too.  Albeit only weighing a few ounces at the time. 🙂  I just couldn\’t leave her with someone for that long while I was on another continent.  Totally doesn\’t work for me!  So, we are praying hard that she will do ok.  We are also excited because she will be a real draw for the kids at the camp.  We are hoping the girl we named her after is there too!
     
    Take care,
    Amy

  4. Enjoy ever single moment of it! Its on a few days, and then its all over until next year. Or you could save up and find camp after camp after camp next year, lol. Ok, that would maybe cross into the bad mom territory a little, but she\’d have fun!
    I would love to send all 7 of my kids off to camp, but the little two aren\’t old enough, so why bother? Without the big ones, the little 2 would be harder to deal with.

  5. I say you should enjoy the break!  Craig  had Victoria last weekend while I was in Indy and he said, "She was glued to my side the entire weekend, like a puppy on a leash." I said, "Welcome to my world."  Men will never understand what mom\’s do, so I hope you are doing something that you love during this "mommy vacation."
    Kathleen

  6. If enjoying the peace and quiet makes you a bad mom… then you are not the only one!! There are definitely times when I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is NO WAY on God\’s green earth that I could do what you do – be a home-schooling mom. No way Jose. Really. Someone might die with that much togetherness… ;o) 
    Take care – ENJOY the quiet!!!
    weimie

  7.   Ann I have two little rugrats, boys at that, and I love to get a break even if it\’s a sleep over at a friends house.  Don\’t feel bad,
      not even for a minute.  Everybody gets to have two weeks off for summer holidays, even MOMS!!! 
      Here listening to my kids drum set and guitar now….Hurry up someone ask them to a sleepover.

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