Compassion & Understanding in a Broken and Hurting World

I have been crying alot lately.  Just ask Kiki -"Mom, what is wrong?? You’re crying again…?  Maybe you need to be banned from the computer; it makes you cry too much." Lol.  These tears are not because of my own sorrow, though.  I’ve been doing alot of blog-walking  (yes, my dear husband, I know you think there are better ways I could spend my time).   I have cried over mothers losing their babies from CDH and other things, and I cannot imagine the pain.  I have cried over parents whose older children are lost and struggling.  Over people losing ones dear to their hearts from cancer, old age, accidents, anger and estrangement.  I have cried over those dealing with pain, both physical and emotional.  Maybe I am crazy, (well, there is no maybe…but am I alone in this?) sometimes, it feels good to cry.  Because, I think, it connects us.  No one on this planet is free from the pain of a sin-filled world.  We may have moments when life is just flowing along, but somewhere down the river, the current gets stronger, the rapids come…maybe even an unforseen waterfall that’s going to smash us at the bottom.  I think we, especially women, have forgotten how to connect with one another.  We are so busy, protecting our hearts and our own little worlds, we don’t reach out…I have heard so many women say they don’t even like other women…we are afraid of one another, that someone else is prettier, smarter, sexier – is going to steal our man…. and we do…we hurt one another, when we should be locking arms to face the day.  You see, I’ve noticed something.  I was reminded of it the other day while reading the blog of a mom who lost her precious baby the day it came into the world.  When she was given the diagnosis, and was beginning to understand that her baby was being born simply to die, it angered her that life kept going on.  People all around her just went on about their lives, oblivious to the fact that her life had come to a screeching halt at that moment.  She was mad at those people; she wanted to yell at them "Stop it!  Just stop it!"  Stop being happy; stop blithely going about your life…and, here is the thing…I have felt that exact same emotion.  From a totally different cause.  The memory is very clear in my mind of a day I was spending with my parents after Alan and I had separated.  We were taking a walk in the park; it was a beautiful, warm day.  People were laughing, playing, enjoying the day.  It made me soooo mad. I mean, I wanted to hit them, scream at them.  How could they just be like that, when my world had ended??  What was wrong with them??  My pain was so all-encompassing, couldn’t they feel it, too?   Then, another memory.  During that same period when my marriage was in tatters, a very dear friend called.  She and her husband had moved across the country, and we’d lost touch.  She was calling because she’d just found out she had cancer, very advanced…the doctors were basically telling her she had weeks, maybe months, left.  Then she said something that blew me away… when she went out among the "living" – as she called them – she got so angry…how could people just be going about their lives like everything was fine when her life had just come to a screeching halt?  Do you see?  Do you understand?  It doesn’t matter if we haven’t shared the exact same problem as someone else…chances are, we have felt the pain!  We need to embrace one another, help each other stand, help find a reason for that person to face another day…. or, maybe, to simply cry with them.   
Postnote:  The doctors were wrong.  My friend is still alive, very well, more than a dozen years later.  She and her husband now have a beautiful little girl, and their life is, at the moment, quite rosy!      

7 responses »

  1. Gosh, this kind of stuff has been going around in my brain for a little bit too.  (!80145991D766AD8B!465.entry).  What is up with us mom sometimes?  And then I get so aggravated at some moms I know cause the stuff that is so important to them, they are yelling ~ yes, yelling ~ at me to agree with.  I\’m shaking my head here cause life is just so confusing sometimes.
    Ayn Rand… no, Atlas Shrugged is probably just as depressing as your\’s book (although I\’ve never read another thing she wrote)… it happens to be a favorite more because it expressed a lot of the frustrations that my Heart was going through at the time.  Well, wait… maybe it\’s not so depressing… I don\’t know.  It\’s definitely a "gotta be in the mood" kind of book.

  2. I can remember feeling this way twice.  Once when I had a miscarriage and I would see new or pregnant mothers. and when we were in the process of losing our house to foreclosure and hubby\’s brother was buying a new house.
    It is our nature to feel this way.  Jealous of what others have and angered at what we lost.  It is part of us being Human.

  3. Gosh… was just dropping by to say feel free to borrow the quiz… feel free, that\’s what its there for…. and then I read this entry!! 
    Ann, I know you\’re husband has been fussing about too much computer time – I hope you don\’t get annoyed to the point that you give up blogging anytime soon! I really enjoy your entries, always thought-provoking for me and well written. I always leave your space thinking about what I\’ve read.. it sticks with me. (Heck, I was actually planning to say something about your "Castaway" entry I read earlier… or was that last night? anyway…  have to mull some things over before I comment – now this one was here!!)
    Thank you for putting your thoughts down in blogworld… we seem to think a lot alike – you just express it better! ;o) I enjoy coming here….

  4. I know exactly what you mean.  And I have been one of those women.  I have real problems with other women in relationship, but not due to jealousy or anything like that.  My fears of women are founded in the women who I grew up around.  Mom, grandmas, aunt, sister…on and on and on.  I was always the outsider, and still am, and to this day I don\’t know why.  So, it has carried on into my adulthood of not being able to relate to women.  So sad.  Fortunately, while attending graduate school for therapy, I had to go to therapy.  I was really able to work through some stuff I didn\’t even know was lurking.  It\’s not all perfect, but I really believe as long as I am able to recognize and name it, I\’m a lot better off because then I can work on it.
    Anyway, I am right there with you crying along with these women and wanting to join arms with them.  I think sharing in people\’s joy and sorrows is the important part of life.
    Take care,

  5. Oh Ann, you have a tender, compassionate heart.  I think it is lovely that you are moved when you read of others\’ pain and sorrow.  Because of some of the things you have experienced, you have the ability to minister to those in a lost and hurting world.  I pray that that tenderness and soft heart you posses will be the tool that is used to speak words of life and love to someone who may not hear them from anyone else.
    And I rejoice that your friend was healed and lives to tell of what Jesus has done for her. 

  6. I love it when doctors are found to be wrong about that sort of thing!
    And, yes, we do need to weep with people when they weep and embrace them when they\’re hurting, no question about it.

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