Am I Headed for a Break-down??

I am beginning to be concerned that there is something seriously wrong with me.  We did go get our Christmas tree last nite, a beautiful Noble Fir, about 7 feet tall… very lovely.  We saw it, chose it, brought it home and had it up in the stand all in less than an hour.  That is a record for us.  With no fighting!  That usually occurs during the setting-it-up-trying-to-make-it-straight process.  We didn’t do any decorating last night, we just vegged and watched a movie… I was feeling pretty wiped out.  When we got home from lunch at my sister’s today, after church, Alan said "you know you better get the tree decorated now, we are having that meeting tomorrow night."  Right.  The meeting.  The one I didn’t want to have here.  I  mean, sure, the house is clean and all that, but I am just all "peopled-out", if you know what I mean.  O course, I want the tree decorated… just that old rebellion again, I guess, I don’t want to be told it has to be done now.  Well, I began; and I hate – despise – no, loathe putting the lights on the tree.  This used to be Alan’s job, but one time I made the mistake of saying it needed a bit of fixing (yeah – once in 22 years I make a comment) and now that is his excuse to never do it again – because I am "too picky".   Grrrrr.  Well, I got a bit carried away, and I ran out of lights… and I totally freaked.  I went into some kind of frenzy!  "How can I finish??!!  I have to have lights now !!!"  Alan was like "put ornaments on the part the lights are on, then tomorrow get more lights and finish up."  I went crazy on him… "You don’t understand!!  I can’t do that!!  I don’t work that way!!  I have to do all the lights first!  First!!  I don’t have time to go get them tomorrow!!! I hate doing this!"  Poor guy, he ran out to the nearest store for more lights… one string of which did not work, of course… so I  just took the one that worked, and basically tossed it on the tree… I was so done.  It had taken me over an hour and a half just to put the lights on.  Then, Kiki and I finally started to decorate it, and more trauma was coming…first, Kiki broke one of my very favorite, very old ornaments… I have two…no, I had two very large gold, round ball ornaments that were my Grandma’s… I don’t remember a Christmas without them.  Grandma had several, both silver and gold, and I had the two remaining.  It wasn’t Kiki’s fault; they are probably more than 50 years old, and I remember packing them up last year, and one had several hairline cracks in it…   poor Kiki, though, she was devastated.  She knows they were special to me.  I kept telling her it was no big deal, I knew it would happen soon, but she was so upset.  Later on, I knocked another ornament off the piano bench (where Kiki had placed them while unpacking) and even though it just fell a short distance onto carpet, it broke into 3 pieces; one piece which flipped up and when it landed, it fell on and broke another ornament!  Geez!!  In 20+ years of collecting ornaments I have probably broken one… and I lost three in one night??!   Kiki, before this time, had tired of decorating and was watching "Masterpiece Theatre"… a real good production of "Pollyanna", not the Disney version… so, I went and sat with her for a few, to collect my shattered thoughts… a few moments later, Alan walks in and says "uhm, honey?  The lights on the tree…well…they all just went out…."  CRAP!!!  A fuse blew – probably because they say not to connect more than 3 strands together, and I have 8 strands on that stinkin’ tree….Alan replaced the fuse, and they work now…but I think we better get an extension cord and split it up 4 & 4, maybe….  I have less than half my ornaments on, but I really don’t want to finish it now…. I am just so ticked off, and tired….  so, here I sit, thinking I am on the verge of a total meltdown.  I need a vacation from my life.  At most, I will get a night’s sleep…. oh, well.  I am sure tomorrow will be a better day.  Except for the meeting… crud.  Can it all just stop so I can make it through the Holidays?  I love Christmas, I really do, but I feel like I am about to spontaneously combust if something doesn’t give.   I believe that next year I am getting a fake tree, with lights already on it…  

5 responses »

  1. I\’ve got a few of those old ornaments… I think I\’ll put them on the mantle this year.  And lights… don\’t get me started AGAIN!  A few years back I started telling people I was done with the "rushing" of the holiday and I\’ve slowly knocked things off the list (and I don\’t regret it, either).  Now I may seem like the Christmas Scrooge, not wanting to give EVERYBODY a gift or go to every party or church function, but I smile and explain without any show of guilt.  And people mostly always sigh and say "I wish…" and I\’m calmer… but the holiday just doesn\’t seem as spectacular as it once did… so I\’m torn.  Have peace!

  2. Most definitely "too much going on around here" disease- you need a nap & a night off!
    I personally opted out of tree decorating about 10 years ago, simply from dealing with tree lights- I really hate putting them on. We are replacing our artificial tree this year, & it is going to be prelit, no arguements & excuses 🙂

  3. I know today was a new day with a fresh start but here\’s the advise I would have given last night when you were frustrated…..
    Just think that when it is all done how beautiful your tree will be and all that hard work will have paid off.  Me, I have no tree yet, do not look forward to putting any lights on the tree – I make my hubby do that otherwise it will have none, and will not go along to pick out the tree because that will be a big argument and I really need to choose my battles since I picked a dumb one tonght when I said that I wanted Baked Lays with my combo meanl NOT fries when he went to get dinner!!  Sheesh… I need to pick up a prescription for chill pills!
    Anyways…. I\’m glad you made it through!

  4. I solved some of my Christmas stress by eliminating some of my "traditions."  I only send cards to those who send me one, so over the years I have gotten fewer and fewer.  I don\’t participate in Secret Santa, because 1- it costs money and 2- I never know what to get the person. Our tree is an ancient artificial one and Victoria decorates it, so it looks like poop. I don\’t care, as long as she is happy with it.  The yard only gets decorated if Craig feels like doing it, and this year he didn\’t.  Fine by me.  My favorite thing about Christmas is the church service and spending time with my family and watching them open their gifts.  I LOVE giving gifts – but hate wrapping them.  I sure do love gift bags from the Dollar Tree!  I haven\’t had a holiday meltdown in years. (Of course, I do have a prescription for chill pills.) So glad that you survived your meltdown without having a stroke!  

  5. Oh, Ann I feel for you!  Putting up a Christmas tree is an ordeal for any family!  I am going to put my story of my tree decorating on this past Saturday (and my subsequent breakdown) into my next blog.  Lights are the worst part.
    Could you put some kind of laquer (sp?) on the LAST ornament of your Grandmother\’s to reinforce and strengthen it?  I hate you lost one.  I have one single solitary blue toile platter of my Grandmother\’s.  Her 5 daughters acted like wild scavenger animals when she died, even though it was my Dad she lived with when she couldn\’t do for herself any longer.  That\’s all I was able to get and got it simply because my Dad snuck it out.  But, it was the platter that she would serve her famous homemade biscuits on every time I spent the night.  She acted like she was serving the President (and she was \’old school\’ so breakfast was usually served at 4:30 a.m.!).  I would be devastated if anything happened to it.  I\’m so sorry. 
    You absolutely need a night off and treat yourself. I hope your week gets better.  You are in my thoughts.   

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