Today I got to do 2 Things I Despise

Yesterday, my comfy and beloved pair of jeans finally gave up on trying to stay together by a few well-worn threads, and they ripped.  Gasp.  They were my only pair of long pants. So today I had to go find a new pair.  I have never enjoyed clothes shopping (except for a time in my 20’s when I wore a size 5 and things looked good on me.) but I especially hate it now that I am quite large.  My mother-in-law sent me a gift card for my birthday, for ‘Torrid’ (a fat-ladies’ clothing store!) so at least I was able to get my new pants for free!  This particular store has mostly trendy stuff that younger gals might wear (I was thinking crap I am old) but then I found some stuff someone like me might actually wear. (I am not old I am not old)  I have noticed that younger girls that are the same size as me still wear stuff very tight and form-fitting.  I don’t get that.  It isn’t pretty.  I tried on about 50 things, and ended up with one pair of jeans and a tank top.  Sheesh.  Kiki is actually jealous of my jeans – they are the "cool kind" (her words) that have pre-worn-out patches on them, the kind she’s been wanting.  Hahaha, I am soooo cool.  She did say to me "Mom, I don’t get it.  My pants never wear out and rip."  Well, honey, if I had a huge wardrobe like you, I wouldn’t be wearing the same pants every single day until they fray off of my body.  She looks cute in her clothes still, so I have been living vicariously through her! 
My next joyous stop was to the Supermarket.  I hate shopping for groceries because A) I have to make a list and think about what to cook.  B) It’s too expensive. C) I have to put it all away when I get it home. D) Then I have to use this stuff to cook…uckk.
I was very good, tho.  Usually, when I am bummed about my size, I make myself "feel better" – albeit temporarily – by eating stuff I shouldn’t.  (You’re right, that’s stupid – welcome to my head.)  Going to the grocery store in this condition is usually not good.   Today, I stuck to my list, and bought lots of fruit, vegetables, and juices.   I didn’t buy any chips, cookies, candy, or ice cream.  I stared into the pastry case for a few minutes (after all, it was past lunch time, and how would I survive all the way back home??) but, I walked on by, and made myself a tuna sandwich when I got home.  Yay me!! 

5 responses »

  1. What I have found that REALLY bums me out is that any sugar is bad sugar… from fruit down to catsup and including the ones that my body makes on it\’s own from carbohydrates (corn, potatoes, bread, all the really good junk food chips etc.).  So, I\’m with\’ya… going down the grocery ailses and being really good to buy lots of fresh fruits and veggies… only, nutrients good, sugars bad.  ARGH!  My vitamin supplement has become my friend… no, I don\’t take a million… just one for mommies right now… later it will be the ADKINS mega vitamin and the omega oils.
    I have fluctuated between a size 24 at my heaviest (I carry most of it in my hips and thighs, which means, ditto for pants purchases) and a sometimes 16 when it was the right brand AND I was doing really good on ADKINS a few years back.  My heaviest… 225… down to 175 when I wore that sometimes 16. 
     Life is truly a rollercoaster… the hard part is just realizing and accepting what part you are in and enjoying what you can of each stage, knowing it\’s going to change again soon!  AND "He is faithful and just and wll eqiuip."
    Tammy Bailey  🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. Wow! we must be kindred spirits.  I too despise grocery shopping, cooking and dusting.  As a matter of fact and have come to the conclusion that I am domestically impaired.  As for the jeans issue, I can relate totally to having the one pair that fits the best and no matter what others think, they make me look great, alas I too have lost my favorite pair recently and am hanging on desperately to fav pair #2, but they too are on their way out.  So I envision a shopping trip in the near future, aaarrghhh!.  It\’s a tough job but someone has to do it.  Since I too have gained a bit more weight over the years I live I have come to the conclusion that I am this way because there is just "more to love".  Take care and come back & visit! 

  3. Big Yeah for you! Free clothes that fit! I\’m with on the shopping thing-  I use to like Lane Bryant until they started going "trendy"- now it\’s nearly impossible to find jeans that aren\’t low-riders (which in my humble opinion don\’t look good on anyone) I keep going back to the looser, all-around elastic waist ones, since they actually go to my waist! Maybe I\’ll check out Torrid- but I don\’t do "Hoochy Mama", so we\’ll have to see.

  4. Good for you on resisting all of the temptations in the grocery store!  I, too, will stand for what seems like hours staring at all the bad foods I shouldn\’t buy.  When I am strong, I take a look and walk on by.  But, when I am stressed and weak, I fill up the cart with cookies, candies, and ice cream.  Unfortunately, I am in the stressed stage once again, and I am not making wise choices.

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