Brown Sky, Blue Heart (dog update)

The air in our valley is full of smoke from forest fires burning all around us.  It is even drifting over from neighboring states…I miss our normally beautiful blue skies.  This reminds me of being back home in Southern California!  I’ve had a little laugh, because the schools have been cancelling sports practice and anything else outdoors, and I’m thinking "geez, people, this is how we lived most of the time" in So. Cal.  But, I guess it’s nice, living here where crappy air is not the norm.  I’ve needed the little laugh….
Now for my blue heart.  The news about T. is about as bad as it gets.  We took him in for the chest xrays on Friday, and he does have lung cancer.  Not a little bit, either.  I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what a chest xray should look like, but basically you shouldn’t be able to see the lungs…they have very little ‘mass’ or ‘density’, so they  just show up as dark areas.  T.’s look like, well, a snow storm.  Very white, foggy, with hundreds, if not thousands, of white spots.  Spots so ‘dense’ they show up as white as the bones of his ribs.  These little white nodules are each a very thick tumor.  The vet – oh my gosh, he was so sweet and nice, I mean, we’d never been in there before, we were referred by my vet since this clinic has a better xray machine, but he was just so kind – well, he said he was just so sorry, that really all we can do at this point is try to give him a little better quality of life until, well, until the end.  Which is aparently quite near.  He said, days, maybe a week or two.  How did it get this bad without me noticing??  I mean, a couple weeks ago, he seemed fine.  He was a giant, goofy pup, full of exhuberance.  The vet tried to reassure me that it was nothing we’d done, or could have done different.  No One in my family smokes, never has.  And T. never lived in So. Cal.  But my heart is aching.  He’s now on Lasix to get the fluid out of his lungs, and streroids to reduce swelling.. he does seem to feel a little better today, he actually played ‘toy tug’ with me a bit…he hasn’t done that in a week.  He’s eating now, too, a little anyway.   I guess it was the Lord’s plan to have my car break down, because I was so thankful to have my sis there with me.. she just hugged me while I sobbed.  The car just needed a new battery, so it wasn’t too horribly expensive.  Alan came home from work early.  He cares, too.  Kiki thinks she should have the next two weeks off from school… "how can I possibly concentrate, mom?"  I understand.  My mind is certainly in a fog.
I just plan on giving him as much love as possible as long as I can.   

9 responses »

  1. Oh, Ann- I am so sorry! I know you are heart-broken & I\’m crying with you. At least the medications are helping him feel better. Just love on him now & let him go when the time comes- you know his pain will be over. I know its not biblical, but I believe God has a special place for animals, where they are whole & happy.

  2. I\’m really sorry to hear about your dog.  I hope he can continue with that medication to make him feel better.  I hope he doesn\’t suffer.  I don\’t know what else to say—

  3. Awe… I\’m so sorry to hear about your pup.  Geez, that\’s rough.  Yes, yes… give him all the lovin\’ you can for all the time you can…
    There really is a special place for dogs.  I\’m certain of it.  My bestest friend ever, Annie, is there and she\’s playing frisbee, frolicking in the surf, stealing chicken off bbq\’s and all the fun stuff she did when she was a pupper.
    Good luck with "T" and I hope he\’s not in any pain.

  4. I am truly sorry to hear about your pup.  I love reading your entries and am glad they featured your blog.  So nice to read about another mom\’s first day of school.  I think yours went more smoothly than mine.  lol.

  5. Hi  , I am so so  sorry to hear about your doggie 😦 I hope you get to spend lots of time with him and that he has a peaceful time.
    I really enjoyed reading your blog 🙂 
    Good luck with the homeschooling !

  6. Hey, just came across your blog, and thought I\’d offer some words of thanks for you writing about your dog. I have a dying dog too, she of some mysterious liver ailment, and she\’s only 6 years old. You wrote some of the same feelings I\’ve been having–like what could I have done differently, if I had taken her to the vet sooner would she be okay, I wish I had more time with her. Sometimes I feel like a whacko talking to people like my mother is dying. Granted, she\’s just a dog, but she\’s my baby. My human babies are older now, and she is my baby. So thanks for your comments. We have much more in common, apparently. I am an overweight stay at home mom too. I freelance from home, so I am able to "work"–like I\’m not working when I being mom. I used to homeschool my kids, but they wanted to go to school so bad, so I let them. It has been great for all of us, and they are thriving, so I haven\’t regretted that choice. I also don\’t regret the years I homeschooled. In fact, my 17 year old just said the other day that she thinks part of why she loves learning so much and isn\’t jaded about school is because of her homeschooling years. It\’s nice to hear a nearly grown child see that the choices I made for her were a good thing. Keep on keeping on.

  7. It is so hard to loose a pet.  They become a true member of the family.  My Samantha (German Shp/Lab Mix) passed in February.  We had to put her down because she was so sick.  I miss her everyday.
    Thoughts and Prayers are with you.,

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