Birthday Blues

Yesterday was my birthday.  The older I get, the less exciting this is.  Compare that with my daughter, whose birthday is next week…she’s been going on about it for months; the stuff she wants, the party theme, running out front everyday when the mail comes to see if there is something for her… !  I don’t really think it’s the age so much that bothers me (okay, I’ll tell…I am now 45 – Seems rather – milestone-ish, somehow?)  What bothers me is where I am at this age.  You know, another year gone by, I’m still ‘horseless’,  overweight and out of shape, messy, haven’t decided what to be when I grow up…for our kids it’s all fun, games, and "what am I gonna get".  The strange part of this is, I tell everyone I’d just as soon ignore my birthday, that it’s not a big deal, blah blah blah…then I get bummed out when they take me serious!  I wasn’t trying to play mind games or anything, it really didn’t seem to matter…I didn’t think I cared…until I  had a lousy day!  Then I wanted someone to make me feel "special"!  I  had this great idea of going to the fair yesterday, for something special.  (Note to self:  Next time, take just myself and daughter.)  I invited my mom and dad, sister, and her daughter (who is the same age as Kiki.) Seemed like it would be fun.  When we got there, however, my dad hadn’t come because my mom had got stuck babysitting -at the last minute- 2 other cousins.  Which annoys my dad.  Understandably, if you knew the situation with that particular family.  Don’t even get me started.  My niece, wouldn’t have been bad.  She’s a sweetie, my deceased sister’s oldest daughter.  Also pretty close in age to Kiki and the other cousin.  They all get along great.  And, know how to behave.  The other kid, however, is the 11 year old son of my brother-i-l’s new wife.  Now, I don’t have anything in particular against this new wife.  At first, I really liked her.  But, the more I get to know her, the less impressed I am.  I think she is dishonest, stubborn to a fault, and plays mind games…I hate mind games, and lying is my hugest pet peeve.   Oh, there I go and I said I wasn’t going to start on that.  Sorry.  The thing is, this kid acts like he has no clue how to behave.  His comment "it’s only illegal if you get caught" kind of sums up his attitude and behavior.  He has no respect for my mom, myself, or anyone else it seems.  He kept grabbing stuff he shouldn’t, running off, and being generally annoying.  We all ended up getting embarrassed one way or another by his behavior.  He also called the girls names (rude ones) and this is so not allowed in our family.  I told him so.  I don’t think he cares much for me anymore!  And his mom is super strict with my sister’s 3 kids.  What’s up with that?  Honestly, I feel sorry for him.  He’s a little kid and obviously not being raised right.  At this point, it’s not really his fault.  However, why did he have to ruin my birthday??  Not on purpose; just because he had to be there.  The fair time was not enjoyable.  The other bummer was I love fair food.  Expensive, greasy, terrible-for-you fair food.  Yummmmm.  But my mom and my sister are the ultimate "Moms"…no, it’s too expensive, not good for you, we’ll-get-a-sandwich-and-fruit-when-we-get-home-Moms.  And I am the ultimate "keep the peace" child in the family – if the other kids aren’t getting anything, we shouldn’t either, it’s not polite or nice.  Thankfully, Kiki is an awesome kid, and understood, even if she wasn’t happy about it.  Heck, I wasn’t happy about it!!  By the time we got home, I was in a bit of a mood.  I hadn’t gotten a card, a gift, not even Fair Food!!  Thankfully, my hubby was home soon, and he made the evening much, much better.  We went out to dinner, shopping (so Kiki could buy me a gift) then he played along while Kiki put on a play for me with him as her "extra".  He was very sweet, and pulled me up out of that bog I was wading in.  I love my little family! 

3 responses »

  1. Hi Ann,
    I have always thought birthdays should be a big deal.  We have several family traditions surrounding the kids\’ birthdays but my birthdays were always a let down. I waited for many years for someone (like my husband?) to throw me a surprise party.  Finally I started throwing myself parties.  Girlfriend parties – no husbands, no kids.  I invited all my friends to come to my house, and bring a dish to pass instead of a gift.  They were so fun!  Now I am too lazy to work hard on cleaning my house, so I invite them to have dinner with me at a Mexican restaurant. (Pay for own dinner – no gifts.) It gives me something to look forward to.  Try it – you\’ll like it!

  2. My birthday was just a few weeks ago. I\’ve learned not to expect much, but then, b-days were never a big deal in my family. As long as Hubby does something nice and includes the kids, that\’s all I care about. However, the last two years my mom gave Hubby and me a "weekend getaway," and I have chosen to take it over my birthday weekend. To me, getting away from everything is the perfect present! Hubby never does anything romantic, but at least we\’re together and out doing something. None of my friends recognize my birthday, and, well, I don\’t recognize theirs, either. Wish it could be different but I learned as a young child to not expect much, so I still don\’t.
    When my sis turned 30, she was really bummed because she thought she\’d be living a better, more put-together life by then. Instead, she was a single mom going to school in stress up to her eyeballs. It happens. For me, 30 wasn\’t a big deal, but I think 40 will be – which is to say, I\’m looking forward to so much then, that it will be easy to have a big let-down.
    Sorry your b-day wasn\’t much fun. At least you learned something important – do what makes YOU happy! Which usually means not including other people who have the potential to spoil your day! I hope next year is better for you!

  3.   I am SO glad your Birthday had a Happy ending!  It sounds great!!  I stopped celebrating "birthdays" — I try to celebrate every day (being alive!! ha-ha!).  Peace.

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